Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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