like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
