i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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