too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
