OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
