Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
