My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize