I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
