he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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