I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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