puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
