lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
