Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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