I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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