I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's blow job season.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
