one two three fourrrrnication!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
