Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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