I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
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