omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
