real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
