Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
