oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I wear drunk well.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
