At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
