He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
