Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
