That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
