Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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