All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would punch a child for taco bell
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize