Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
