Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
