I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
