I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
