im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it glows. i had to have it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
