i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this boner is exhausting
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
