in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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