I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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