you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think people are normalizing furries
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize