Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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