He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
