i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize