4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
