Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
