If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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