is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
pray to the hookup gods
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
