how can u be prego again
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
