I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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