You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
