why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We had sex on a dog bed..
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize