dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
