Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize