You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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