I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
