Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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