Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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