I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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