She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
