help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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