Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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