i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
